• 1.5 min read

by Markey Motsinger @markeymotsinger

The more self-aware you are, the more you know what about yourself is healthy and what is not..png

Dear Journal,

I’m at a loss to translate how parenting makes me feel. Before I had kids, I thought parenting would be the most rewarding journey of my life. I mean, come on, people say, “It’s the hardest, but most rewarding thing I have ever done.”. But honestly, after 11 years and rewarding isn’t the way I would describe it. I'd say it's the most time consuming, energy-zapping, metal overloading, money-draining, and emotionally exhausting thing I have ever done. I was not prepared for this.

I truly wish I could be one of those parents who sees the joy in all things, let’s everything roll off my back, and points to Jesus during every fight.

I hate that before I had kids I was so judgmental. I would look at parents and think, “What’s the big deal, just play with your kids.” or “I will never speak to my kids in such a demeaning tone.”. Well, guess what, I have refused to play games with my kids more than once, and I have not only spoken demeaning things to my kids, I yelled while saying it.

There is never an hour that is not, in some form, focused on my kids. I am always cooking, homeschooling, teaching social skills, presenting Jesus, driving places, worrying when they are sick and breaking up fights. And this only accounts for a fraction of how I serve my kids.

Ouch! That’s it, isn’t it? At the root of my frustration is selfishness. I guess I never knew how selfish I was until I had kids. People try to make me feel better, by. saying that it’s normal, but the truth is, I signed up for this. Actually, with all the infertility treatments, I paid $45,000 for it. Even more than money, God called me to this, and I can do all things when I rely on Christ.

I love my kids with all I have, and it will never cease to be hard, but God help me to accept the grace that you give every time I mess up. Help me remember that my ultimate job is to raise God-fearing women of God. They don't have to do every sport or be the most socially acceptable person, but they do need to aware of your truth.

Your Turn…

Are you having a fantastic parenting day? Or maybe it’s 11 am, and you just broke up your 15th fight. Parenting is not for the faint of heart. When one season ends, another begins, but we will be parents through them all. I find that the best thing we can do is surround ourselves with women who will authentically parent alongside us, showing us their successes and failures so that we can encourage and accept the grace that God offers at each moment. Remember, God specifically gave you your children because they needed what you have to offer!


Hi there! I’m Markey! I’m inviting you to pull up a chair and join me in this thing called life. With me, you won’t find much fluff, but you will find an ordinary, girl who craves authenticity and Jesus. Visit me here to read my blog or grab some free Bible studies and reading plans.

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